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All you need to know about Anger Management

Posted by Angelica on September - 4 - 2011

Quote of the day

Anger is a killing thing: it kills the man who angers, for each rage leaves him less than he had been before – it takes something from him. – Louis L’Amour

 

Anger exists in every single one of us. No man would tell you that he/she had never lost their temper unless of course they’re 6 feet down the ground. Anger is a strong feeling of discontentment, hostility or violent behavior provoked by a rage or wrongness. If you’ve been guilty of losing your anger, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to hit yourself repeatedly for it. The key is really to learn how to control this fragile emotion of anger and not letting it control you.

How angry are you at this moment of time

Anger is one letter short of danger

The first step to managing anger is really recognizing that you’re currently experiencing this rage. Ponder on what or who has made you has put on this feeling onto you and accept it. The worst thing to feeling angry is denial towards it.

Below is a scale to quantify your anger. Each scale is weighted against the Intermational Mercalli intensity scale which is also used in the measurement of earthquakes.

The red line between 2 and 3 would show where your limit should be, or rather here’s where you need to start getting help or imply anger management techniques already!

 

Which level do you belong to?

Anger Level

 

Anger Indicator

Here are some of the symptoms that you’re currently feeling angry and seriously need to deal with it immediately:

  • Rapid Heart Beat and breathing becomes intenseAnger Indicator
  • Stiffening of neck, jaw, arms & shoulders
  • Feeling the adrenaline rush
  • Clenching of fists until the fingernails start hurting
  • Head becomes numb and aches
  • Stomach feels rigid and tight
  • Muscles work hard and become tensed
  • Face becomes red and heated up
  • Sweating of palms and forehead
  • Tendency to throw things
  • Tendency to break things
  • Tendency to hit/punch into things
  • Destruction of others and Self
  • Screaming on top of your lungs
  • Using fowl languages or cursing
  • Thoughts of hurting or harming a person
  • Becoming mentally unstable

Control your Anger with these Powerful and Easy Tips

  • Take a deep breath. Inhale & Exhale slowly & repeatedly for about 10 times. Let the oxygen stream into your nerves & blood flow while calming it down
  • Pause and count until 50 before you make any further moves
  • Channel positive thoughts like love, happiness, relaxation, enjoyment, or excitement to replace angry feelings
  • Drink some water to calm your nerves
  • Ask for comfort and help from the Almighty. Prayers are a powerful way when you’re confused and lost
  • Move away from the person or thing which inflicted anger to you
  • Remember than anger and hate will not solve anything. It brings no good to yourself nor others
  • Repeat words like “control”, “relax”, “calm down” or other calming terminology
  • Imagine calming environment/sceneries or think of calming songs or music

    Be Calm

  • grateful that for the gift of life and wisdom which makes us rationalize between good, & bad. No problem in this world cannot be fixed
  • Do some physical exercise to loosed up stiff muscles and release tensions that build up as a result of anger
  • Release your anger in a piece of paper. Writing down your emotions have similar impact to talking to a friend without being secretive or worried that you’ll be judged
  • Once calm, start expressing your angry in a non-destructive way
  • Put yourself in the shoes of the person who made you angry. Ponder shortly on the reason the acted the way they did?
  • Think thoroughly before you speak. It’s no point to be regretting after you’ve blurted out words that might have hurt the other person more than you think
  • Reflect and determine a possible solution for your rage
  • Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness – yourself and everyone/everything else. Release a white dove(a symbol of forgiveness), when you have a major grudge in you

    Ask for forgiveness to free yourself

  • Use silly humor to switch emotions, make sure it’s not offensive
  • If anger levels are too high, sleep over it before confronting or dealing with it
  • Seek therapy or anger management classes if you find it too difficult to cope
  • Join anger management forums, or chat groups to see how others are coping with this crisis
  • Never bottle up your anger inside you for too long. Accept it, and find a way to deal with it
  • If you really have to let go of your anger physically, find a punching bag or a stuffed toy to punch out to your heart’s content
  • Always remember your values in life. Have you conflicted your principles & morale by behaving negatively towards an emotion?

Values in Life

Recommended Products For Anger Management

 

 

How to Sleep Well

Posted by Angelica on August - 25 - 2011

Quote of the day

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night’s sleep” – “Edgar Watson Howe”

A human spends almost 1/3 of their lives sleeping and this should already tell you why a proper sleep is imperative more than anything else. Studies show that those who sleep between 6 to 9 hours live the longest. This has been proven to be the ideal and optimal sleeping period which is needed by a person.

 

Why is a proper night of sleep important?

Everyone out there at one point or another would have gone through the sleepless nights when the body so badly needs its rest, but somehow the mind doesn’t stop functioning. Dozing off at this point of time might seem like the most impossible thing to do. It’s like someone telling you “Don’t think of pink elephants” and what’s the first thing that appears in your thought? Click the link below that directs you to the alertness test. This illustrates on how well you’ve rested for the day.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/

Contrary to this, some other people find that they sleep more than they should be. The cause of oversleeping is mainly due to the lack of sleep itself and other reasons such as disorientated sleeping patterns, habits, stress, or other medical conditions such as diabetes or heart diseases.

Anything more than 9 hours in a day leads to oversleeping which is linked to medical problems such as diabetes, obesity, back pain, heart disease, depression, and increased risk of death. Anything less than 6 hours in a day leads to sleep deprivation which is linked to even more problems such as fatigue, daytime sleepiness; clumsiness, weight loss/gain, trouble focusing, and it affects the brain & cognitive functions. Long-term total sleep deprivation can also cause death.

 

Sleepiness

 

The quality of your sleep directly affects the quality of your waking life, including your mental sharpness, productivity, emotional balance, creativity, physical vitality, and weight. Proper sleep is the most effortless activity which gives you this many benefits and a quality life.

 

The Sleep Cycle – the stages of sleep

There are two types of sleep which is Non-Rapid Eye Movement (NREM) known as quiet sleep and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) known as active sleep. Below are the stages of sleep that takes place when a person hits the bed. The stages below are not necessarily in the order of 1-5.

 

Stages of sleep

The Secrets to a Good Nights’ sleep

Sleeping

 

  • Make sleep a priority
  • Aim for 8 hours of sleep every night
  • Maintain regular sleep schedule, even on weekends
  • Establish relaxing bedtime rituals such as reading, or having a warm bath
  • Make sure not to go to sleep when you’re angry
  • Avoid caffeine, nicotine, & alcohol in the evenings
  • Try to stay away from long naps of more than 2 hours during the day
  • Make your bedroom as dark as possible and avoid distraction of TV/Laptops
  • Listen to relaxing music’s like light Jazz, meditative music, classical piano, spa tunes, etc
  • Keep a miniature fountain by the bed. Flowing water sends relaxing signal to your brains
  • Try breathing techniques from Livestrong.com to help promote sleep
  • Stop working at least 1 hour before bedtime. Your brains need to calm down and relax to be able to fall asleep fast
  • Exercise during the early parts of the day to tire the muscles. This will result in easier dozing off at night as the body would automatically crave for its rest
  • If you don’t fall asleep within 15-30mins upon hitting the bed, get up and do some light activities like reading or listening to music until you feel sleepy again
  • Write down worrying thoughts in a piece of paper which you can review the next morning. Never go to bed with any bothering thoughts in your head.
  • Try warm milk with honey. It has proven to relax your mind and promote better sleep
  • Shop for a good eye mask & ear plugs if the bedroom seems bright or if you have a noisy neighborhood/ partner
  • Invest in a good pillow that helps promote sleep. Check out SleepingPillow.org for more tips on choosing the right pillow.

 

Herbal Remedies to Promote Sleep

Chamomile Tea

Chamomile Tea – sometimes referred to as pineapple weed, it helps to calm the nerves & soothes stomach. Taken in a hot tea form.

Valerian (Valeriana officinalis) – it’s a mild sedative herb that has been reported to help patients with insomnia & sleeping disorders. Its best taken in capsule form due to its strong smell.

PassionFlower (Passiflora incarnate) – safe sedative particularly helpful for insomnia caused by anxiety, worry or an overactive mind. Taken in capsule/ extract form

Kava root extract capsules (Piper methysticum) – a sedative that produces mild euphoria & works as muscle relaxer. Best to be taken in capsule form due to its pungent smell & taste

Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis) – Traditionally used to reduce stress and anxiety, promote sleep, improve appetite, and ease pain & discomfort from indigestion. Works better when combined with other herbs like valerian.

Try lemon balm as a topical use as the smell is believed to promote relaxation

Ashwagandha
(Withania somnifera) – also known as winter Cherry or Indian Ginseng, this herb carries a Latin name that literally means “sleep inducer”. It has tranquilizing effect that relieves anxiety, increases resistance to stress, uplifts mood and relaxes muscles. It’s taken as a supplement capsule form.

Other herbal products to aid sleep

 

What you need to know before purchasing herbal products:

  • Research if your herbal product can interact with other medications, food or medical conditions.
  • Talk to your doctor before trying an alternative approach and be sure to tell all your doctors what alternative treatments you are using.
  • If you experience side effects such as nausea, vomiting, rapid heartbeat, anxiety, diarrhea or skin rashes, stop taking the herbal product and notify your doctor immediately.
  • Avoid preparations made with more than one herb unless it has been researched before & proven effective.
  • Beware of commercial claims of what herbal products can do. Look for scientific-based sources of information.
  • Select brands carefully. Only purchase brands that list the herb’s common and scientific name, the name and address of the manufacturer, a batch and lot number, expiration date, clear dosage guidelines and potential side effects.

 

The Science of Stress

Posted by Angelica on July - 30 - 2011

Quote: “The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.”

 

Stress has become a major problem in our society and the sad thing is really, people who are stressed are either not aware about this or are still living in denial. High stress level makes us feel tired, anxious, and unable to concentrate, tensed, over alert, & depressed. These symptoms soon lead to insomnia or trouble sleeping, eating disorder (overeating or eating less than usual) & addiction towards short term help such as smoking, alcohol & even drugs. When we are stressed, things happen to us in a reaction of the brain telling the body “Survival is getting hard, so get ready to battle”.

Why do we feel stressed?

Organizational factor

Excessive workload

Long working hours

Work affecting home life

Continuous crisis management

Lack of communication

Lack of recognition

Managerial Biasness

Bullying

Harassment

Racism/ Sexism

Repetitive work

Numerous rules & guidelines

Lack of interest

Trust Issues

Isolation

Boredom

Salary related issues

Threats of poor performance

Comparisons among others

Lack of support from managers

Lack of control

Environment factor

Poor work environment

Air Conditioning problems

Too little workspace

Poor lighting

Lack of resources or tools

Noise pollution

Travelling

Poor ventilation

Poor pantry/ washroom facilities

Self factor

Negativity

Lack of motivation

Self Doubt

Low confidence/ self esteem

Health problems

Loss of direction

Financial matters

Family Problems

Changes (marriage, divorce..)

How much stress can we handle?

 

 
 
In a book I read recently, “Managing Workplace Stress: A best practice Blueprint” written by Stephen Williams & Lesley Cooper; it caught my attention on how stress was elucidated.
 
 
 
 

It was an explanation in a simple graph form but made complete sense on how stress or pressure affects productivity:

Level of stress

This graph explains how pressure affects performance which is divided to 5 levels.

Level 1: Known as the Rust Zone is when we are put under very little pressure that causes unproductively due to boredom or don’t care attitude. People in this level have the tendency to brush of task and constantly complaint of boredom.

Level 2: Known as the Comfort Zone is when we are at the level of stress that is comfortable to our tolerance. People are productive doing the task they know or are good at. Most people in the workplace tend to fall into this group.

Level 3: Known as the Stretch Zone is when we push ourselves out of our boundaries of comfort zone thus getting into the ‘learning curve’. This level is usually when both employees & employers gain optimal results of productivity.

Level 4: Known as the Strain Zone is the continuity of Stretch level stress which is the starting point for productivity loss and cause of other illnesses related to stress. People managers are usually ignorant at this point when they don’t see the need to stop or decrease the pressure input on staffs.

Level 5: Known as the Panic Zone is when we are intolerant to stress anymore and stress has overpowered our personal lives and caused major drop in productivity. This is the point which people face nervous breakdowns, panic attacks, major illnesses & change in behavioral attitude towards negativity.

When to say no?

It is healthy to give & receive pressure right up to the Stretch Zone, but once a person feels the symptoms of stress kicking, it’s wise to put a clear stop sign. Any further push factor done by an individual at the Strain Zone will lead to physical illness such as body aches & pain, diarrhea or constipation, frequent cold, rapid heartbeat, & gastrointestinal problems. It is the body’s way of telling to mind ‘Enough Already’.

Bear in mind that different people have different tolerance level to stress. Just because a peer is hanging on, you are not obliged to put up with high amount of stress. Remember that our health comes as a priority and surpasses any other resources available.

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